The many facets of fear

Up until recently, I thought I was being brave – stepping outside my comfort zone – conquering my fears. After all I was “showing up” more and more in my everyday life and slowly but surely revealing the true me to those around me. Not quite Wonder Woman status – but on my way to earning that gold tiara and wrist cuffs – with the invisible helicopter not too far into the future.

But it would seem that fear has some other plans.

I was blessed on a night recently to take part in The Little Sage’s Circle. I knew that the night would provide me clarity and space on an internal level that I was seeking. I had not previously attended this event, but having met Helen several times, following her blog, using her oracle cards daily, and attending other meditation sessions with her, I felt that the night would be filled with amazing possibilities. 

And yes it delivered – and then some!

My focus for some time now has been about release – letting go of things that don’t serve me – physically, mentally and spiritually. So when the guided meditation began and the prompts to identify that which can be “released” came, I knew in an instant I was in the perfect place at the perfect time.

When it came to journalling after the meditation though, the resistance came up in an instant. I couldn’t let the writing flow. My ego was judging everything so quickly and firmly that what was written was stilted and over-edited. I could not confidently identify anything on the page that had come from my intuition.  



And then the universe stepped in to show me her guiding hand.  



An oracle card face down on my yoga mat that I had intuitively selected when I chose my position in the room, turned over to reveal the two words

“Be fearless”

The tears instantly welled and spilt over the edge of my eyes. You know that feeling where you go  – “damn it I knew – but I didn’t want to acknowledge it – but now it’s so fricken’ obvious”



– the elephant in the room has just come over and sat on my chest – no ignoring it now!

Fear is something that I had long been advised on – it was to be “felt” (Feel the fear and do it anyway!) – it was to be “faced” and under no circumstances was it to be “fed”. So I took stock – what was I doing with my fear? – I certainly wasn’t feeding it – in fact as it turns out I was (and still am – work in progress) totally ignoring it. I was not truly “feeling” it – although I was completing the “doing it anyway” part. And I was not “facing” it. In fact I turned my back on it as I quickly ran past it and hoped it wouldn’t notice me – because I was too scared to look at it – feel it or face it. And now I see that by being afraid of my fear – I am still giving it some element of power over me.

There is a lesson to be learnt in embracing this fear of mine.

A lesson that will propel me from procrastination into full on passion – an investment of myself in myself and for myself with no attachment to others’ perception or acceptance of me.

A lesson that will see me willingly give myself over to my soul purpose without the barrage of “what ifs” that come thundering through from my ego.

oracle card by the little sage

The fact that fear will always exist for me throughout life and needs to be faced moment to moment – is something I thought I had a handle on. But it seems there is a wall that requires demolition inside and I need to square my shoulders and look at my fear head on. After all if I don’t examine my fears – I won’t be able to learn the lesson and the circles I am walking in will lead to a dizziness that may stifle my spirit. And the “hit straight to the target” message of the little sage

It’s what you do with the fear that can help you move forward or keep you going in circles.