There is a sea of change washing ashore in almost every aspect of life at this point in time and I am definitely feeling adrift amongst it all.
Life has been anything but mundane over the past 2 years when I officially resigned from my hard earned corporate position as a Senior Interior Designer, and lay aside 22 years of striving, struggling and pushing to prove myself again and again.
This new path was unclear, undefined and frankly quite scary. It began with major surgery and a 2 month recovery period – and then everyday taking at least one tiny minuscule step forward.
What I found over time though, was that these minuscule steps got a little larger and a little more determined. And this year I began taking some leaps – getting ready to bound a little further and a little higher. And I was comfortable with this – why? – because I had minimised every other aspect of life – I felt like I had turned down the volume on everything other than my business.
and this felt comfortable and secure
but of course the Universe has other plans for me.
Feeling comfortable and secure seems to be an indicator that I am playing small – that there is more within my reach and I need to stretch
And now the stretching begins.
As I integrate life and business (I call it lifeNess), the Universe has encouraged a merge – my lifeNess and my hubby’s lifeNess – why wouldn’t he merge his life and his business with mine? They are no longer distinct entities – separate compartments. My life is interwoven with his and his with mine. And as we weave more of ourselves into our respective businesses – they too become interwoven. We will be creating and living in a space that supports and encourages his lifeNess and a space that supports and encourages my lifeNess.
A concept that is both exhilarating and extremely scary.
And for now? There is a lull before the action – a sense of weightlessness that feels more heavier than freedom. Not feeling attached to the ground but untethered in an aimless way. A sense of having lost the way – if only momentarily and not being able to see out from the valley to the mountains. A sense of lack – a sense of questioning – a vacuum of sorts – where the energy is non-existent – like the pause between heartbeats. That moment where trust is imperative to suspend me from one stage to the next.
And that trust is taking the form of one minuscule step again each day – to view this time as a growth period – to keep me on my path – to break my leaps back down into tiny steps and to above all be gentle with myself to love the fact that I can still take that one small step and I am exactly where I am meant to be. Just as you are too.
