The Art of the In-between

There are moments in time when it feels like I am in suspended animation. I am on my way from where I have been but not yet to where I am headed. The next step is visible in front of me – but I feel unable to take it in that moment. The distance feels too great. I have a knowing that it is the right step to take but I cannot conceive how I will take that step. Do I standstill? Or do I just put my foot out and hope the path meets me? Both options feel scary.

The standstill is always a useful and worthy exercise – but how long for?  

Does the standstill eventually lead to being paralysed on the spot? 

Sometimes for me that answer is a resounding YES.

And what about taking a step and hoping the path meets me? This requires a tonne of faith – and though it is something I will be learning for the rest of my life journey, I am choosing this way more and more often.

I like to refer to it as the in-between

For me it sometimes involves breaking the next step down into a half-way step – or if that seems too big to halve it again – and again and again if necessary. Some days it feels as though I am only inching a toe forward – but the key word here is forward. And those days that I am struggling even to figure out how to break it down, I have a Pre-organised list of little tasks that will inch my toe forward. And I just pick one – do it and then celebrate it as the wonderful achievement that it was.

This in-between stage can even help when it comes to replacing old habits and behaviours with new ones.

I developed and cultivated a habit of being nasty to myself for more years than I care to admit – but let’s just say that for more than 3/4 of my life I was my own worst enemy. And while I now practice self-love on a daily and moment to moment basis, it is still something that at times does not come easily to me. In a recent situation where I was unable to complete (or even actually begin) some great things I had lined up to do within my business, I knew that I had to go easy on myself and just be kind to myself. Let me tell you though, there were days when this behaviour felt extremely foreign and impossible. So I broke it down into a half-way step

an in-between step

Instead of being kind to myself on those days where I just felt I couldn’t, I resolved to not be mean to myself – so I quietened my inner critic and just got through the day with little or no internal dialogue.  I informed my inner critic – that if she couldn’t say anything nice – then she shouldn’t say anything at all.

And on those days, for the most part it worked.  I managed to take an in-between step to bridge me from where I had been to where I was headed.

Is there somewhere in your life where you need to find the in-between steps to stop you from being paralysed in a standstill?

I’d love to hear in the comments – as always your words and ideas are an inspiration to me.