Judging yourself is nasty business.
Judging yourself as a measure against others is even nastier business.
After all
Comparison is a Killer.
Comparing yourself to others is a guarantee that you will kill off
self love
self awareness
positive motivation
listening to your intuition
authenticity
following your purpose
and being grateful for everything that you already have
And what replaces these things?
Fear
self loathing
jealousy
envy
stagnation
and depression.
Striving for results based on other’s achievements is an unattainable goal. You cannot do the exact same thing as anyone else – after all you are not the exact same person as anyone else.
When you get stuck in the downward spiral of comparisonitis try using this travelling analogy.
Imagine everyone is on the same plane – let’s call it Air Life – and everyone is headed to the same destination – after all we all know that our final destination is the end of life.
But not everyone can sit in the exact same seat.
So everyone’s experience of the flight will be different. And if you think – oh I’d rather be up the front in first class – if that were the case, you might miss out on chatting to the passenger sitting next to you who turns out to be a like-minded soul and you strike up a conversation which leads to a business collaboration, or even better a life long friendship.
Or if you were sitting up the front where you get your food and drinks served first, you might miss out on the gorgeous sun setting below the clouds with all of the rich colours out your window.
So how does this apply to life?
Imagine these scenarios where friends or people you know have things you think you should have or achieved by now.
If you had the baby who slept through the night from 6 weeks old, instead of the frequent waker that you have, you may have missed out on midnight smiles and cuddles shared between the two of you when the rest of the world is asleep.
If you had been promoted or one of the one’s to keep their job instead of being laid off, you may have missed the opportunity to have the space and drive to try something new and follow your passion.
If your husband had been totally devoted and showered you with romantic gifts from the early days instead of losing his way and questioning your marriage, you may have missed the opportunity to discover your inner strength and chance to work together through the difficult times to get back to the basics of what is important to you both and rebuild on a strong foundation.
If your child was a straight A student instead of someone who struggles with reading/sport/behaviour, you may have missed the opportunity to shower this small human with extra love, understanding and be given the honour of supporting them and watching them flourish.
You can take almost any situation that you are judging yourself against others and turn it back to a loving positive spin.
Be impressed and in awe of who you are.
In the words of Dr. Seuss
“There is no one alive That is youer than you”.
Follow your own path.
As John Mason so eloquently puts it:
“You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.”
Sit in your own seat and enjoy the view and neighbours – your food will come!
