Full moon Floundering

I have stories to tell.  I have information to share. And each week as I sit down to write my post, my ego goes into overdrive – editing, censoring, re-editing and scrutinising what goes on the page.  I’m getting used to her wily ways – so for the most part I still get my story out there as my soul intends.  But lately I’ve been working on some extra posts (guest posts) and she is amping up her control factor big time.

So as I sat here this morning – and the internal chaos of what to write – led me into an exhausting impasse, I did what most self respecting bloggers would do – I got a cup of tea and had a Facebook surf.  And there I was reminded that today  – just before midday was when the Full moon – would be at it’s fullest!  A time to release that which no longer serves me. My first thought was to pack up my ego and put her in a box which I could set alight out in the back yard – IF ONLY!

Before my Ego could sense my mutiny and shut me down, I decided to pull out my oracle cards and my crystals for some divine guidance on what needs to be released. As I shuffled the cards one jumped out immediately (love that!) KNOWLEDGE and as I read the guide – I thought – I need more clarity – back to the cards – and the next one to jump (again) IMMUNITY – more information from the guide, and I was called to pick one more – STAR SEEDS – the first time all cards drawn have jumped – time to listen up I thought. So without bogging you down with the nitty gritty, the overall message was this

• Let go of my fear and doubt about sharing what I know and feel as it is holding me back from claiming ME.
• Stay grounded during this time to do things differently and protect myself from the inside out instead of building up an outer shell that keeps others out.
• All of these previously mentioned things are closing me off from information that is patiently waiting for me.

So in the spirit of release I thought I would share a poem (despite what my ego thinks) that came to me recently after meditation about discovering the patterns in life  – the time when you look back and all of a sudden in retrospect, you can see where you have been repeating the same lesson over and over and over. When everything becomes clear there is a time of grieving for what was and the opportunities for joy that were missed. This poem is about the darkness that comes before the light and looking back at that pattern of darkness. It is not cheery and sunny but by sharing it, I am acknowledging that is part of me.

A house of unfinished business  

Reminders left forgotten  

Regrets etched deep into every surface  

Covered over with tokens and trinkets of sunnier times  

Lessons unlearnt lay piled in the corner  

Obscuring sunlight and warmth from any direction  

There is living here  

But no life  

Co-existence but no connection  

A sea of dust floats on the air  

There is air here  

But no breath  

Sparks dimmed and almost out  

The world outside a chance to shine  

No sharing of light with each other  

Darkness hides the truth  

The pattern does not lie