Freeze Frame or ReFrame?

I am considering this point in time my “do-over.”  

I am redesigning my life to align more with my own true self.  



This time around I desire more Freedom.  

I even put this word on my vision board at the beginning of the year and framed it in green, purple and pink beads.  It greets me at eye level at my desk and sets the tone for a lot of my decisions.

But this pursuit of Freedom has lead me down a winding path away from that which I seek – Freedom.

Having regained some time and space to myself – I set about abolishing routines. After a multi-deadline based career I learnt to detest routines – to me they represent the exact opposite of Freedom.  But without routines there are parts of my life that are chaotic.  And after a few months of study, blogging, and general day to day life as a mum and a wife, there is now a pervading sense of confusion and disorder that has seeped into every corner of my house and of my life.

I have routines in place for my kids so there is always a time for meals, play, baths, homework and bedtime.  But on those days when I am by myself, all sense of routine flies out the window – meals get skipped, things get half done, and stuff is ALWAYS going missing.

So I did some soul searching – and listed all of the freedom that routines would provide.  

Less time sitting up till midnight doing assignments and more time spent getting up early for yoga and meditation.  

Less time trying to cook dinner, write a blog post and help the kids with homework all at once, and more time spent being present with the ONE task in front of me.  

Less time feeling guilty about what wasn’t done, and more time immersing myself fully into my blog/study/kids.  

Less time searching for the car keys/school hat/lunch box/library bag, and more time being calm and compassionate with myself and my kids.

And then I stumbled across this little gem…If I had routines in place – it would give me the freedom to SUCCEED!

I was shunning routines because they would give me a greater chance of success.  So I did some more soul searching followed by some internet searching and came up with some compelling reading.  In his article on “The Success Avoidance Syndrome”, George Chingarande lists the two biggest traits of sufferers are – Risk Avoidance and Failure Avoidance. Essentially this all boils down to a motto of “don’t take the risk in the first place and there will be no chance of failure”.  This started the alarm bells ringing in my ears!

But surely to take no risks is to live no life????

So what is it that keeps us living small?  I think it is a viewpoint.  Chingarande points out that “Failure avoiders are regulated by their fear of failure, but the winners are inspired by their dreams.”  The FAs are always conscious of their limits and retreating from them, whereas the winner is embracing and moving towards opportunity.

And the difference between Limits and Opportunities – it’s just your perspective.  

Think of them as boundaries.  



To live small is to accept your boundaries and avoid them at all costs – stuck in one place – a Freeze Frame.  



To live large is to see your boundaries, move towards them to see if they are really there and to test them out to see if they can be moved – moving forwards, growing – a ReFrame.

So how does this all relate to my intense dislike for routines?  

If I look at routines as the death of Freedom – being LIMITED in what I can do and when – then I am living small.  



If I change my perspective and look at routines as opportunities for success, ease and flow in my life – then I am living large.  



And starting simply with the Reframe – my TO DO LIST is now renamed my OPPORTUNITY LIST.