Finding a foothold in my forties

I’m feeling very fortunate at the moment to have received some special gifts for my birthday this year.

I didn’t fully understand the value of these treasures though until I took some time to reflect. And then I began to see that the first half of my 40s decade has served me up many life changing lessons. Lessons that have put me back on my own true path after being off course for many years.

If I look back over all of my years as an adult, each decade has had me floundering at the midway point. I would start off the decade with grand visions of my life ahead, and by halfway point, I would be feeling lost and disillusioned when reality was so very different from the fantasy I had worked towards. I would be in aggressive pursuit of ticking off my life to do list – marriage, children, home owning – and I felt like the Universe was definitely making me wait.

The very beginning of my 40s though were unlike any other decade. I had lost my way from the start. I was stuck and essentially running on autopilot.  It felt as though there were many, many people and things that required my time and effort and I gave my own self-needs little if any consideration in the scheme of things.

Essentially this was the perfect opportunity for the wheels to fall off – and they did – in a big way. Creating one of the biggest transformational stormy times of my life crammed into just a few short years.

Where is the gift in that?

With just a little bit of reflection, I can see some wonderful lessons that this complete collapse of my world as I knew it afforded me.

Developing a curiosity for the truth

Having turned a blind eye to many things that were going on around me for quite some time, the Universe obliged with a very large serving of the truth delivered straight to me in such a way I could not but acknowledge it. It made me see that if you do not seek the truth  – it will find you anyway.  I learnt to develop my curiosity muscle for all things – why I did what I did and why I felt like I did. And on this journey of self investigation, I learnt that self expression was paramount to flexing this muscle. Not until I had expressed myself – did I truly understand the truth.

Creativity is the highest form of Self Expression. Often not

until we put a tangible voice to what we feel/believe/want,

do we truly begin to grasp the essence of our true selves.

I am the one in charge of my experience of this life

I was often waiting for someone to tell me to “take it easy”.  I was looking for permission from others to put myself first, to look after myself, and to be kind to myself – both at work and at home.  Needless to say that didn’t happen – even if I kept complaining about how tired/busy/over worked I was. Not until a doctor told me “your body is beyond exhausted”, I thought that finally I had the permission I needed.  Funny thing is within weeks of taking it easy, I was back full tilt waiting for the next person to give me that permission again.

Learning to take total responsibility for what I did and how that affected how I felt was both liberating and scary at the same time.

When faced with a sense of overwhelm

this is your body’s way of telling you to

get back into the driver’s seat

and take back control of your experience of life.

The further along the path of life you are does not mean that you cannot change direction or even change paths

This was a difficult one for me to grasp. But once again this ties in with taking control of your own experience of life. We go through our early adulthood making some pretty major life decisions – the career path we choose, the partner we choose, the property/place to live we choose, to have (or not have) kids.  All of these things can add up to feeling as though we have mapped out our future and we are destined to follow this route to the end. The truth is though that it is never to late for a change – especially to enhance or improve your own experience of life.

Letting go of others’ expectations

as well as your own

helps you more  easily navigate your own course.

I’d love to hear what wonderful lessons your life has gifted you and how it has helped you find your foothold at any stage on your journey. As always your thoughts and comments are truly inspirational to me. xx