the colour of rebellion
So I found myself in a predicament – I knew I had to change my life – but I didn’t know how.
I still felt stuck.
Life had already started to change for me – in some pretty mammoth ways but it was just an awareness that life as I had been “surviving” it wasn’t right/enough/real or true. The changes were happening on the inside and I had no idea how to transform my life on the outside.
I was still going to work every day with that little voice protesting in my head. I didn’t have a clear plan on what my next action needed to be. I didn’t have the answer but I knew I was over feeling so BLAH! I wanted to bring some joy into my day.
I had already identified that colour was a constant in my life that brought me pleasure and joy, so I took to painting my fingernails in bright and vivid colours – (I became obsessed with images of cool painted nails on pinterest). The more I didn’t want to be at work, the wilder my fingernails became.
On one particular day I woke early to paint my nails. The day ahead was filled with meetings where a lot of people would be telling me what I had to do and by when – with no consideration if it was at all achievable. This was the part of work that I began to dread the most.
As I painted my nails I directed my rebellion at each and every person that would be sitting in this meeting and thought “who are you to tell me to do all of this stuff – when it is too much”. My Negative Nelly was back in charge.
Needless to say I didn’t pay much attention during that meeting.
I sat there with my mind swinging from blissfully day dreaming about standing up and just walking out, to seething with resentment at the whole situation.
And then out of nowhere it struck me right between the eyes!
Image Credit – http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2582/5710510988_752fb54155_o.jpg (image cropped& overlay added)
Not one single person in this room was telling me what I had to do!
The only person telling me what to do was ME!
I wasn’t rebelling against anything external – all of the pressure and deadlines I had placed upon myself – by not speaking up, by pushing myself to the limit and beyond for so long I couldn’t even see that it was me causing the stress.
I suddenly realised I did have a choice – if I was the one putting all of this pressure on myself then I was the one who could stop it!
I was the one calling the shots and in fact I had been calling the shots all along. i just hadn’t been doing it consciously and taking into account what was right for me.
By not being an active participant in my own life, I had set myself down a winding dark path.
In the space of a few months, I climbed back into the driver’s seat of my life and began to pay attention. I quit my job and immersed myself in colour, peace, space and conscious living. All of this led me to this blog. I intend to share insights into colour and it’s uses, as well as bringing visual joy to everyone who reads it. I have some exciting things planned and I’ve already set off on some colourful adventures which I will share with you over time. I would love you to come along for the journey and fill your life with colour.
