I’m feeling very fortunate at the moment to have received some special gifts for my birthday this year.
I didn’t fully understand the value of these treasures though until I took some time to reflect. And then I began to see that the first half of my 40s decade has served me up many life changing lessons. Lessons that have put me back on my own true path after being off course for many years.
Time for a little hands on heart honesty…
The Universe has currently got me by the short and cur lies!
That’s right – you heard correctly – I am admitting to be in a situation in which I have no idea how to get through.
And that is the point. NO. IDEA.
You see I’m an ideas kinda gal. I love love love to think things through.
When doing colour readings for my clients, I find more often than not that one of the challenges everyone faces is the issue of security and stability.
Whether it be in a relationship, our career/work environment or our physical/home environment, when our future seems uncertain, we easily lose confidence in ourselves.
We associate being “in control” with feeling as though we are secure and stable.
She is the Gathering
Of Years
She is the Gathering
Of Time
She is the Gathering
Of Pain
There are moments in time when it feels like I am in suspended animation. I am on my way from where I have been but not yet to where I am headed. The next step is visible in front of me – but I feel unable to take it in that moment. The distance feels too great. I have a knowing that it is the right step to take but I cannot conceive how I will take that step. Do I standstill? Or do I just put my foot out and hope the path meets me? Both options feel scary.
Feeling comfortable and secure seems to be an indicator that I am playing small – that there is more within my reach and I need to stretch.
And now the stretching begins.
As it turns out, I am not a big fan of criticism. Just ask my hubby. Whenever I receive it – even the constructive kind, I see it as judgement – sometimes harsh, unfair judgement.
It’s no surprise that I have identified this as one of those things to work on, sort through, look at from all sides, inside and out to gain some insights.
And of late that is just what I have been doing. As we pack up our home of 12 years to move house, with our mountains and mountains of stuff that we have gathered along the way (hands up who has kids!), tempers are being frayed. As we tackle what seems an overwhelming amount of fix-up jobs to put our existing house on the market, the stress levels are rising.
So to make it through the next month intact, I realised things are going to have to change on the criticism front.
Generosity is one of my strong points.
Others have told me this over the years – friends, family, work mates. Only recently though have I stopped to listen and truly appreciate this gift of mine.
The gift of giving.
Just a few short weeks ago though, I turned this generosity back on myself. I’m not referring to self-love, me-time, massages, meditation etc. I set my self an intention – I was going to allow myself to receive.
Receive what others were offering me.
As a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend this did not (and still does not) come easily or naturally to me.
Each Decision we make,
each action we take,
is born out of an intention.
Sharon Salzberg
Imagine then – if these intentions are sitting below the surface – driven by our ego – and essentially undetected by our true self.
This has been my mode of operation for years. To stumble on blindly not truly seeing – where I was headed or why.
Now that life gave me some shout outs and I finally woke up to the calls, I’m infusing intention wherever I can – however I can – in order to fully live the life I want to be living. A life that makes my soul one happy being.
We are all devoted to something. And this devotion is often played out on a daily basis. Most of it on a subconscious level.
For those of us who are employed by a boss, we are devoted to going into work. For those of us with a family/kids, we are devoted to their well being – getting them fed and clothed and off to school/work or play.
Some of us may be more consciously devoted to and exercise regime, or a yoga/meditation practice or even a food choice – juicing for breakfast – or a vegan lifestyle.
Every commitment we make is a devotion – a dedication to some purpose.
What then if we aren’t consciously aware of our devotions?
The New Year energy is finally upon me – and I am relishing it. The Chinese New Year and the February New Moon is heralding some big B I G changes for me – and I am starting to feel the rush of excitement with this new chapter starting.
I have skirted around the edges of my truth for almost 2 years now and it’s time to step into the centre and just do away with all the excuses, the clutter and the crap. The crap I tell myself and the crap I choose to take on from the opinions/views and beliefs of others.
CRAP BE GONE!
What exactly does this new chapter look like then?
READ MORE HERE
I had a recent discussion with a friend where I admitted to feeling “compelled” to create. Like all good nuggets of soul wisdom, this word fell out of my mouth and gave me a little jolt of surprise. COMPELLED – I am acting on a COMPULSION. And thanks to The Free Online Dictionary – this is defined simply as
An irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation.
In my new found appreciation for listening to my soul and “going with the flow”, this compulsion doesn’t feel scary, or out of control, or even coerced. It feels right and when I go with it – the results always exceed my expectations.
READ MORE HERE
It’s heading into the business part of the year for me now. An exciting time with both kids off to school and a chance for me to dive in, get clear and submerge myself into my business, my purpose and start shining my light out to the world. On the flip-side though life just got that extra bit more complicated on the home front – with all the extra organisation that goes hand in hand with small people attending school.
Up until this point though, I have seen this day to day to do list as an interruption – and add to that the interruption of the kids themselves – with the questions/ the brotherly scuffles that require a referee and of course having a household of male folk relying on me – well my frustrations are always bubbling away under the surface.
READ MORE HERE
Feminine Energy is Rising – and I am getting all the messages
If you follow astrology and moon energy, you may already know that 2015 is calling us all to step into our Divine Feminine Energy. To take a break from the strive and struggle of 2014 and to simply allow the flow of free, soft and creative energy to be our guiding mode of operation.
I’ve been fortunate enough with a glorious mix of synchronicities and signs that have lead me to begin to understand how my feminine energy has been squandered and silenced for quite some time and my eyes are opening up to how this has played out in my life and my relationships.
READ MORE HERE
I spent a good deal of 2014 working on release, letting go – of beliefs, habits, things and even people.
Now I know deep down inside their are things big and small to still clear out – some of them buried deep and some of them still lying around in plain daylight.
For a while there, it was the deeply buried things that were freaking me out a little.
What lay beneath?
What was it and how could I release it without seeing or knowing what it was?
READ MORE HERE
“I’m Listening!”
This is my message to the coming year.
I received a little wake-up call at the close of 2014 as to how I had slipped off track – where I was misaligned with my purpose – and how I was playing small. So I started the year off with the intention to listen. In fact I often don’t feel the call to declare my intentions or dream big for the year ahead until the beginning of February. With small children at home on school holidays, family holidays and working bees around the house, I often wait till the school year has started to get to the juicy part about what I desire for the year ahead.
This time it’s different. I actually identified my intentions around the time of the new moon at the end of 2014 – and I listened to my body – she was screaming for my attention – so I listened – and I felt her relax and give over her trust to me. I honoured that trust by doing a juice cleanse, cleaning up my food and drink intake, getting more sleep, dropping a lot off my to do list, and formulating some ideas for getting my body moving in 2015.
READ MORE HERE
To check out the posts from 2014
CLICK HERE
